When he says
He doesn’t love you anymore,
Roll your shoulders back
And look him in the eye
Even when it feels like your ribs
Are breaking inward, like spider legs.
When he digs up old aches
That he swore he forgave you for,
Smile
And ask him why he didn’t leave you sooner.
Ignore the way the words feel like sandpaper
Running all the way up your throat to your mouth.
When he blames you
For mistakes that wear his face,
Do not scream.
Do not cry.
Tell him that there are boys
Who would be proud to say they’d loved you.
Tell him that in two years
You won’t even remember his name
And don’t let him see the way you can taste your own lie.
When he leaves
Ignore the howling in your blood
And do not get up after him.
Not even to lock the door.
Do not, do not
Do not.
Smell his shirts when you box them up
To give them back.
Not one.
Swear off dating when you realize
You’re chasing ghosts that wear his smile.
It’s okay to cry over him.
It’s even okay to forgive him.
But do not go back to him.
If he did not know how to love you the first time,
He won’t know how to do it the next. —How To Pretend It Doesn’t Hurt, by Ashe Vernon  (via 1811181)

Holy fucking shit

(via br0kenn-angel)

7/9/14

I only have a couple days left in colorado and while its bumming me out im pretty excited to go back home. Im excited to start working again and trying to get my own apartment. I also ran out of money here so I really need to go back to work lol. 
its over. Me and Deven are finally over. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. I blocked him from anything and everything I could think of. I don’t want to see him, talk to him, or hear anything about him. I think it’ll make everything a lot easier if I don’t. So far it has. I don’t love him anymore. I’m pretty sure I hate him actually. It’s a good feeling.

shared on July 9
I loved him. I loved him.
I could have loved him an entire lifetime,
but life has a funny way of changing plans
and changing people until you can’t really recognize them anymore.
Even the days you swore you’d always remember
are begging to be forgotten eventually.
We all have phantoms we are trying to fall out of love with,
so here’s to the ghosts in the next room,
here’s to the parties we never danced at,
the people we never kissed,
and all the time we didn’t spend in love.
I wonder how many people could have chosen me,
could have carried me past the threshold of a house
that isn’t haunted and stayed there because they wanted to.
It’s a strange thing to know that even the living
aren’t all really alive at the same time.
And it’s a shame we couldn’t have all loved each other
the way we talked about,
with our hearts and our skin and our hands
and no time for sorry or polite or please.
I can’t tell you how many times I showed up
in the wrong dreams looking for his face.
One of these days my own will come back to me.
I just can’t remember what it looked like
when he wasn’t the one touching it. —Y.Z, haunted limbs (via rustyvoices)
shared on July 7 with 2,998 notes via rustyvoices

7/3/2014

I finally had sex with deven  today.

it felt kinda good. I didn’t come tho.

meh

shared on July 3

6/30/2014

I haven’t been able to stop thinking of him. I dont know why.
One minute I think were gonna get married one day once college is over
The next all I can see is him falling in love with someone else
The only thing I am sure of is how much I want to fuck him
I dont know what to do.

I got my septum pierced today.

shared on June 30

All the people
I thought were made for me,
are not.

All the ones
I thought I’d always keep in touch with,
we fell out.

All the things
that used to hurt,
hurt less.

All the moments
I kept replaying in my head,
have faded.

All the times
I thought I would always be weak,
I toughened up.

All my friends
I fell in love with and admired,
I’ve distanced myself from.

All the things
I hated about myself,
I am learning to love.

And all the ones
I thought I couldn’t live without,
are gone;
yet I am still breathing.

Ming D. Liu, What time has done for me (via mingdliu)
-scrapes:

I feel like i’m disappearing

-scrapes:

I feel like i’m disappearing

shared on February 9 with 4,264 notes via -scrapes

lifeweightsandpavement:

Pretty much the body I’d like, thank you…

You’re single because you’re single. It’s not because you texted too much or too little or waited 33 minutes to respond because he took 23. It’s not because you met up with your ex that night at 5 a.m. that no one knows about, or because you kissed another boy after a date with a loser.

You’re not single because you spit food on that date or tripped coming out the the movie theatre. You’re not single because you hurt your first boyfriend really badly when you were 15 or because you have yet, to this day, to apologize. It’s not because you were secretly jealous when your friend got a boyfriend or that a guy you dated for two months now has a really cute girlfriend and looks really happy. And you’re happy for him. But still ill that he found someone before you.

You’re not single because you slept with your ex boyfriend. You’re not single because half the world found out when you didn’t even want to remember it yourself. You’re not single because you think the guy your friend wants to hook you up with is ugly or not tall enough. It’s not because you’re not willing to put up with someone who doesn’t brush their teeth on a regular basis.

You’re not single because your standards are too high. Good for you for having standards. It’s not because you didn’t like that really, really good guy who wanted to take you on a date and you just weren’t feeling it. And it’s not because you like to wear pajama pants as soon as you get home and wash all the makeup off your face. You’re not single because you didn’t learn enough from the past or would rather chill on a Friday night with your blanket and a cold beer than shower, get ready, and go out. You’re not single because something is wrong with you.

You are single because you are single. It’s really as simple as that. You haven’t made the connection with another heart yet. You can get dolled up, dress cute, cut your hair, dye your hair, tweeze your eyebrows, put on lipstick and you may still. be. single. You can go out to a bar hoping to meet the love of your life and not find a damn one in the place attractive. And it’s going to remain that way until it’s time for you to find one. Stop hoping for it. Start living the life that you do have instead of wishing for things that you don’t have. There will come a time you’ll meet a boy and you’ll have to give up some of this single freedom you currently have. Start being more thankful. Start doing that now. —Why You’re Single by Amanda Crute    (via moonsads)

a list of things i probably shouldn’t tell you

sylviataughtme:

1. when you told me your interests i spent hours doing research i wanted to become everything you love

2. the first time i touched you, your body burned just like a cigarette and i treated you like a bad habit i told everyone I’d give it up but i could never stay away for long

3. i always need something to do with my hands

4. when i found out you wanted to leave i told you I’d help you pack and i put my heart in your suitcase and i wished you good luck even though i wanted you to fail

5. i tried to destroy everything that reminded me of you then i tried to destroy myself

6. i watched your new love grow while holding a gun to my head

7. the hole my chest grew bigger so i tried to fill it with drugs, short-lived romances, and sad poems

8. i wish i hadn’t given my heart to you— i tried to get it back but there were chains on your fences and large dogs barking outside your door

9. i can no longer write great poems i can no longer write and i think you took that too

10. i still blame you for everything and i know you hate me for it

11. i still had those nightmares and i woke up screaming your name only to be comforted by your ghost and i killed her again

12. twelve months. it’s been twelve months and i’m still writing about you.

C